so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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