Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
