guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
