I'll bet she douches with gravy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
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i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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