Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
