The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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