he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
