New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
