i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
