the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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