I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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