clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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