I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize