your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
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Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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