He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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