Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
