'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
