I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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