And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
