You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
