im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
