Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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