I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
