they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
