Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
