its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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