i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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