He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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