i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
