Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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