he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
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You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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