Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
