dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
