where am i from again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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