SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
