i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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