can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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