i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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