Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize