HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
