What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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