Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
