You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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