totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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