I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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