just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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