I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
