So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we're making bets on your personal life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
