I am puke
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize