I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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