sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
