I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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