I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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