I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
