I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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