Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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