there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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